The Big Chop (and Change)

I finally fucking did it, ya’ll.

I cut all 20-inches of hair off my head – And I got my septum pierced.

Both of which I’ve been wanting to do for years. 

I’ve saved reference photos, made folders, made plans, and told folx about them; but never have I acted past these motions.

Perhaps I just finally got tired of living with a wig on my head- feeling as if I was wearing a false identity that everyone around me loved and adored. A soft, luscious lie. At a length that drove more eyes and compliments and validations toward me. At a thickness that encouraged stereotypes of my Latinidad and beauty.

A dead cell vehicle of protection for my insecurities.

I set up a fundraiser in support of my local therapy center that I have been going to for treatment- I raised almost $300 for their free services that they provide to people like me. People who have experienced sexual and/or domestic violence. People who can’t afford help in the ways that they need it. And I included a promise to shave my head once I finished the fundraiser, on my birthday…

But, in typical Chelsea fashion, I became impatient to wait for my birthday, (Dec. 9th,) and shaved all my hair off this week.

I couldn’t wait any longer, and wanted to feel the cold air on my scalp. I wanted to be acclimated to the new hair cut before my birthday, before a quarter of a century was marked in my age.

I thought it would take me a long time to get used to the paleness of my skin long covered by my dark, thick hair. I thought I would feel awkward, upset, or anxious at first.

But I felt none of the above; I felt relieved, and strikingly more “normal,” than before. And I still feel this relief and normalcy settling into me, several days later.

This is the appearance that validates who I am; more than those who threw compliments at my hair. This is the change I needed in order to feel myself.

And the septum piercing is the cherry on top.

I will be posting a video next Tuesday of this transformation, and cannot wait to share it with you all. Please stay tuned, and remember that you can support me and my work by becoming a Patron at Patreon.com/chelseatea.

Much love and grace to you all.

May you be well, May you be happy, May you be free from suffering

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